Don't Remove The Person Holding You Up : The Hidden People Who Keep You Balanced
A woman sat on a chair. Beside her stood a man. Not speaking much. Not asking for attention. Just... there. Holding the chair steady.
She felt secure. Confident. Unshakable.
After a while, the man quietly said, "Ma'am, excuse me."
She replied, "Yes?"
He looked at her and said, "I'm leaving."
She laughed. Rudely. "Then leave. I don't need you."
No argument. No drama. He just stood up and walked away.
The moment he left... the chair lost balance.
She fell. Hard. Bags scattered. Pride scattered more.
Sitting on the floor in embarrassment, one truth hit her: The man she insulted was the same man keeping her balanced all along.
Sound familiar? Because many of us are that woman.
### 1. THE CHAIRS WE DON'T SEE [~400 words]
Life is full of invisible chairs.
Your mum calling you at 7am so you don’t miss that interview. That’s a chair.
Your friend listening to your 2am breakdown without judging. That’s a chair.
Your colleague covering for you when you’re sick. That’s a chair.
Your pastor praying for you when you don’t even know you need prayer. That’s a chair.
The problem? Comfort makes us blind. When things are stable, we assume stability is automatic. We forget stability has a name. A face. A tired person who shows up daily.
I learned this the hard way in Lagos traffic. One day my car broke down on Third Mainland Bridge. No money. No plan. I called 5 friends. 4 didn’t pick up. 1 came, towed me, bought fuel, and said “We dey.”
I didn’t say thank you properly that day. Why? Because I was “fine” after. But that guy? He was my chair. If he didn’t show up, I’d still be on that bridge today.
Who’s holding your chair right now? Think.
### 2. WHY WE INSULT THE CHAIR HOLDER [~400 words]
“Then leave. I don't need you.”
Those 5 words destroy more relationships than cheating.
Why do we say them?
**Reason 1: We confuse support with weakness**
When someone helps you too much, you start thinking “Without them I’m nothing.” That bruises ego. So you push them away to prove you’re strong. But strength isn’t independence. Strength is knowing when to lean.
**Reason 2: We take presence for granted**
The people who stay are the people we hurt most. Because we know they won’t leave immediately. So we test them. We talk rude. We assume they’ll always be there. Until one day... they’re not.
**Reason 3: We don’t see the weight they carry**
That man holding the chair? His arms were tired. He had his own problems. But he chose to hold you steady first. When you say “I don’t need you,” you’re saying “Your tired arms mean nothing.”
Lagos taught me this too. My neighbor Aunty Bisi used to sweep my compound when I traveled. Never asked for money. One day I shouted at her for “touching my things.” She stopped sweeping. 2 weeks later, rats invaded my house. That’s when I understood: She wasn’t touching my things. She was protecting my things.
Don’t let ego make you blind.
### 3. THE SOUND OF A CHAIR FALLING [~350 words]
You won’t hear it coming.
One day the calls stop. One day the “Good morning” texts stop. One day nobody covers for you at work. One day your mum says “I’m tired, rest.”
That’s the sound of the chair falling.
And when it falls, it’s loud. Embarrassing. Public.
The woman in the story didn’t just fall. Her bags scattered. Meaning: When support leaves, it’s not just you that falls. Your plans fall. Your peace falls. Your reputation falls. Everything you were “carrying” falls.
I’ve seen it happen. Guy insulted his sister for “worrying too much.” She stopped worrying. Next month he lost his job. No savings. No backup plan. Who was his backup? The sister he shouted at.
The fall teaches faster than any sermon.
### 4. 7 SIGNS SOMEONE IS HOLDING YOUR CHAIR [~500 words]
Before you push them away, check these signs:
**1. They show up without being asked**
If someone consistently appears when you’re struggling, that’s not coincidence. That’s commitment.
**2. They correct you, not condemn you**
Chair holders don’t clap for your nonsense. They’ll say “Bro, this is wrong” but still stand beside you after. That’s love.
**3. They celebrate your wins quietly**
No jealousy. No “what about me.” Just genuine joy when you win. Rare people.
**4. They’re tired but still present**
Ask them “Are you okay?” Sometimes they’ll say no. But they’ll still help you first. That’s sacrifice.
**5. They remember small details**
Your food allergy. Your deadline. Your mum’s name. If they remember, it means you matter.
**6. They don’t announce their help**
Real chair holders don’t post “I helped Moglek today.” They just help. Silence = loyalty.
**7. When they leave, things fall apart**
This is the painful test. Remove them for 1 week. Watch what breaks. If your life shakes, apologize fast.
Do a “chair audit” today. Write 3 names. Thank them before this week ends. Not next month. Today.
### 5. WHAT TO DO AFTER THE FALL [~400 words]
Maybe you already insulted your chair holder. Maybe they already walked away. Is it over?
No. But you must do 3 things:
**Step 1: Sit on the floor first**
Don’t rush to blame them for leaving. Sit in the mess. Feel the pain. That pain is called “awareness.” It’s the beginning of wisdom.
**Step 2: Pick up your bags alone**
Apologize, yes. But don’t expect them to rebuild your life for you. Pick your scattered bags. Take responsibility. People return to humility, not entitlement.
**Step 3: Build a stronger chair**
Next time, don’t depend on one person. Build multiple chairs: God, family, skills, savings. But still honor the human chairs. Because even Jesus had 12 disciples.
I fell once too. Pushed away a mentor because “I know better.” Lost a contract worth 500k. Sat on that floor for months. Then I swallowed pride, called him, and said “I was wrong. Can you teach me again?”
He said yes. Chairs can be rebuilt. But only if you’re humble enough to ask.
### 6. GOD IS THE ULTIMATE CHAIR HOLDER [~350 words]
Let’s go deeper.
The man in the story? He was just a shadow. The real chair holder is God.
Psalm 121:3 says “He will not let your foot slip.” That’s a chair.
When friends leave, God stays. When family misunderstands, God understands. When your strength finishes, His strength starts.
But here’s the twist: God often holds you up THROUGH people. That friend. That mum. That stranger who paid your bus fare. They’re God’s hands.
So when you insult them, you’re insulting His delivery method.
“GOD IS MY CONCERNED NOT YOU” doesn’t mean “I don’t need people.” It means “God is my source, people are His channels.” Honor the channel.
### 7. 10 PEOPLE YOU MUST NEVER LOSE [~400 words]
Before you say “I don’t need you,” check if they’re on this list:
1. **The one who prayed for you when you were unconscious** - You don’t know their names, but heaven does.
2. **The friend who lent you money and didn’t shame you** - That’s rare currency.
3. **The teacher who believed in you when you failed** - They saw what you couldn’t see.
4. **The sibling who took blame for you** - They paid for your freedom.
5. **The colleague who taught you the job** - They gave you skills, not just salary.
6. **The neighbor who watched your kids** - Trust is expensive.
7. **The mentor who opened doors** - Connections = destiny.
8. **The person who said “no” to protect you** - Tough love is still love.
9. **The one who stayed during your “zero” season** - They saw you with nothing and still chose you.
10. **You, 5 years ago** - That past version of you suffered so present-you could sit comfortably. Don’t insult them by wasting their sacrifice.
Read that list twice. Tag 1 person from the list in comments below.
### 8. FINAL LESSON: A BRIDGE IS NOTICED WHEN IT’S GONE [~300 words]
They say “A bridge is only noticed when it is no longer there.”
Don’t wait for the fall to say thank you.
Call that friend today. Send that “I appreciate you” text. Buy that gift. Say those words: “You’ve been holding me up and I see it.”
Because one day, everyone leaves. Even chair holders die. Even God calls people home. Don’t let regret be your eulogy.
The woman fell once. Learn from her. Don’t fall twice.
Before you push people away, ask: “What role do they play in my life?”
If the answer is “balance,” then zip your mouth and hug them instead.
**Moral Lesson:**
Never underestimate the people who quietly support you. The hands you ignore today may be the hands that have been holding you up all along.
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**YOUR TURN 👇**
Who’s been holding your chair? Drop their name + 1 line thank you in comments. Let’s make this comment section a gratitude wall.
**Share this if it spoke to you.** Someone needs to read it before they push their person away.
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